Filed under: Uncategorized
Ergffff. Well I’m a funny mix of emotion today. No real feeling at all to be honest .just sitting, being, not happy or sad – I was numb earlier though, thanks to the first part of a 2 part root canal. So I got to work late, read emails had a bowl of cereal and yoghurt for lunch (I’m on a diet) did little else. Bored, no emotion. Now I’m at the ever familiar 5.10pm – waiting for the last 20 minutes to kill me or hurry up and pass me by. I always hate to think how much of my life I waste away wishing it faster. I wrote something when I was 21, about always looking forward to Friday and never to Monday, I remember wondering if that would ever change. I’m 26 and a half now and can’t say once in the last 5 and a half years have I NOT looked forward to a Friday, and I know I’ve never looked forward to a Monday. Perhaps when I get out of the rat race and into owning the café I’m constantly thinking of and designing in my mind, things might be different. Then, I assume, I’ll long for the days of no stress/worry/responsibility. And probably a larger paycheck. I think I’m just one of those people who’s waiting for the next thing to happen. I think a lot of good things have happened to me (if I sit and draw out what I’ve done over the last 4 years, its definitely eventful) but I’m never just content. And I don’t think you ever are. Apparently through meditation – one can become more content with the here and now but I think I’d be even more bored if I meditated, and I know I wouldn’t do it right.
So what’s the answer? Yep, there isn’t one. And I have to be content with that. So now it’s 5.14pm and I only have 16 minutes to go.
I like how I write these and don’t read them through and then press ‘post’ no editing, no stress. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, luxury.
Filed under: Uncategorized
My friend said Angels and Airwaves had gay lyrics, I said I could write gay’er lyrics – I think I proved him right
Oh yeah… yeah yeah yeah
I got 20 minites to go man,
Yeah 20 minutes to go
I got a one way ticket on the train to go home
I got 20 minutes, to go
I see you sitting at your computer
Looking about as bored as me
Well you aint coz you can’t be coz I’m so bored I’m drinking tea
I’m drinking tea yea yea yeah yeah yeah
I’m drinking teaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yeah
I’m drinking a cup of almost cold tea
Anywhere else I’d rather beeeeeeeeeeeeee
And if you wanna know something
Yeah something really strange
The teas got little floaty bits, yeah
Somethings gotta change
I don’t even like tea I’ve just got nothing to do
Nothing and noone to do, oh yeaaaaaa
I got a big fat cup of cold crap tea
And I’m not gonna give it up, no
Coz it’s the best thing I got going
The best thing of the day
The day I spent doing nothing
But drinking tea, I say!
Filed under: Uncategorized
I want to somehow use this little thing I thought up this morning that was really clever but I don’t know what kind of sentence I can put it in… it’s ‘credit, crunch’. I thought I could say ‘I’m lacking credit, crunch’ but when I put it on paper it didn’t have the same intelligent ring to it as when I was walking to work. Other things I thought about on the way to work this morning include: London is completely being re-constructed & how funny it was that even though someone in a shop is frantically busy with a huge customer que, they will still stop and answer the ringing phone. I’m thinking about standing outside shops at their busy periods and phoning them asking stupid questions… now what stupid questions could I ask… ‘How many people are in the que?’ ‘Why did you answer the phone?’ No, that last one is NOT a stupid question.
So then I got to work, all hot and bothered because I thought today was the agency all meeting at 9am – which it wasn’t. Then I settle down to a nice cup of coffee and fuck all to do. So I looked up how to poach an egg properly – you know the nice eggs you get when you eat out for breakfast and they’re not all flat, but in a cute little bundle .. and when poked with a fork the yolk beautifully spills out all over the buttered toast… mmmmmm I found out how to do it as well… This guy, Matt, has is sussed http://abstractgourmet.com/2006/04/how-to-poach-an-egg/ he also wrote back a lot to people that had written comments on his blog. Then I got a little upset because noones made any comments on my blog. Is it because it’s not very interesting? Or maybe no-ones seen it yet… Undiscovered.
I can’t remember any more of my interesting thoughts today. My friend asked me to think of a name for a website he’s considering starting that is a travellers network – what you do is log on, find people who are travelling in the same area at the same time, and maybe hook up and go on a road trip. I thought travellers unite was a good one.
Righto… 25 minutes to go, can’t wait to go shopping, All Saints has some wicked stuff at the moment. Good luck poaching eggs if that’s what you’re up to tonight.
Filed under: Just me mutterings
Because I’ve only just opened this and I’m not sick of it yet (it has only been about an hour) I’m going to write something else. I opened this thing because I’m so bored at work, and I often think up stupid little things and want to write them to people but I’m always worried they might think I’m weird. I’m not really, it seems, it seems there are a lot of weird people out there like me, which means on the whole, that we can’t all be weird, and weird must be normal. I’m finding a lot of comfort in the fact that I can write whatever I feel like and no one knows who I am. Mia Black is a psudonem, a word I can’t spell. I didn’t realise how cool the name was until I logged off and back on again and wordpress said ‘welcome back, Mia Black’ wiiiickeeed, love it. So, I have a pseudonem, how cool is that? I am now free to say what I want, when I want it (particularly when bored at work) and not have to censor any of my weird little ‘mia’ isms… (they’re really something else isms, but I’m not going to tell you my real name). If there is even a ‘you’ who is reading this.
So back to the point. How bored am I at work? I don’t know if I’m efficient, or I just have no work to do. Earlier today I decided it’s a very fine line. It seems my boss isn’t demanding anything of me, so either he’s given up, or thinks I’m still busy doing the very little he asks of me.. perhaps that’s another fine line. So I get to work (I’m on a 12 week contract – how much I should say of my real life specifics? … have no idea if anyone I know would stumble upon this.. or if they did would it matter..) and I look at my to do list, or my to done list. And then I go on facebook, and then hotmail, back to facebook, make a coffee, have a brief chat to anyone who looks interesting… reply to emails, and most of the day google stuff that could take up time, and try to learn a thing or two. I spend a lot of time looking for jobs (I’m about to relocate) and looking up new careers (floristry was my last idea), or how to start a business etc.
I’m one of those people who have thousands of ideas running through my little head all the time – I’m the one others run business ideas past – but I bet a million bucks I’ll end up doing none of them – oh the power of positive thinking. A friend at work told me the other day I’m very reactive, I’ll react to something when an idea comes past, but as soon as the thrill of actually doing something new wears off, I’m bored and give it up.
So I’ve exhausted google. There’s nothing on it for me. Cuil’s the new thing, which I only like beacuse my name got more hits on that than on google. Try it… I’d like to work for google / or now cuil. I have this image in my head that they get to play all day – and despite me working in advertising, I don’t. I guess I could if I wanted to, considering I don’t do much else, there is a bean bag room here.
So this new little blog is cool, but I have to remember that I’m in my reactionary (is that a word?) state, and it probably won’t last for long. I hope it does though, I’m really enjoying being anonymous, and I’m getting huge kicks out of having a pseuuuuuudonem.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I actually think I’m having a panic attack. I haven’t had one since 2004 – in my first few days overseas. I came from New Zealand to Germany and remember the whole thing being one big sensory overload… get out of the plane, meet my friends I hardly knew, jumped into a car which drove on the wrong side of the road, really close to trams, past buildings with bullet holes in them, to an apartment. I remember the dizzy not quite feeling on earth feeling. The panic attack ( I keep writing attach instead of attack) came a few days later when I was in the mall… all of a sudden so dizzy and couldn’t breathe… it actually hasn’t been classified as a panic attach – aaa attack – but I don’t know what else to put it down as. I rushed to the pharmacy to get an inhaler as I thought it could be asthma… the girl at the shop wouldn’t give me one as I had no prescription so I panicked saying I couldn’t breathe and she gave in. Didn’t help, obviously, as it wasn’t asthma. Anyway I remember the feeling like it was yesterday (the choking, raised heartbeat) and just 5 minutes ago was going through the same thing. Seems to be easing off slightly now, so don’t worry, I probably won’t die while writing this – did I just hear you all sigh with relief? Started thinking it might have something to do with all of the pain killers I’ve taken over the last few days – toothache you see – nothing was working, I’ve heard people talking about toothache being a dibilitating pain before but had no idea just how debilitating (one of those is spelt right) it was. I’m going in for a root canal next week – wicked.
Anyway, panic attacks. How horrible are they? I think it might be linked to my fear of chocking. God don’t I sound like someone with OCD (something my mother has and I will write about at some point). I think I have a fear of my throat closing up all on its own, so when a panic attacks a brewing, I think I let myself get all wound up and think that its going to be the end. Just now I was close to telling someone to call the ambulance. Perhaps I’m a little dramatic?
Filed under: stories
The start of something i’ll finish….
More people die from donkey related accidents than plane crashes – the implications of slander
One of the many evil donkey’s – Frederick, was finding it hard to get work. Frederick, a brown eyed brown donkey used to take up to 58 passengers a day. He charged slightly less than a black cab in the London area and had thought he’d found a nice niche also offering a free sombrero to each of his passengers, when the cost of the ride was over a tenner. He lived in a nice stable, just outside the M25, making it an easy commute to work on the London underground. His stable was kitted out with the usual plasma screen tv, fridge with ice dispenser and about 4 acres of land that he shared with his wife – Elena Donkey – and seventy five donkettes, all called Annabel. All that Elena Donkey and the 75 donkettes knew was the life of luxury that all donkeys at the time were privy to. The donkettes that had graduated Eaton donkey school were enjoying the privilege of being educated at Cambridge, and they all had stable (no pun intended) relationships with their partners, there was even rumour that Annabel the 2nd, was planning a little donkette of her own.
The donkeys life of luxury was all jeopardised when FHM published a little known fact about the severity of Donkey related incidents – with a particular highlight to the London area. In a matter of weeks the front page of the Sun published a 3 year old boy with fatal wounds from a donkey incidents. This sparked the beginning of a brutal yet understandable public backlash on the donkey community in London and needless to say, Fredirick, Elena and 75 donkettes all named Annabel were facing a decline in their standards of living – credit crunch. The images of plane crashes down, donkey related incidents up. United Airlines in America’s profits were even looking up – the first since a little incident of their own in September, 2001.
Frederick being the evil donkey that he was, was outraged. Seeing his family going from Riches to Rags in a matter of months was tearing him apart. There was no more grass for dinner, it was Hay – and given that the whole family had hayfever, each meal time was a spluttering, teary mess. Something had to be done, he thought.
With what little money Frederick had left, Frederick enlisted the help of a PR agent, Ronald J Tuberculosis. Ron (as he left Frederick call him) was no stranger to getting races / species out of tough situations. He was known in the business as the best – what he did for Manatee’s, Hugh Grant (following the prostitute exposure) and the Germans (post WWII) was still high on everyone’s minds.