Me, Mia.


About a donkey
August 11, 2008, 2:42 pm
Filed under: stories

 

The start of something i’ll finish….

 

 

More people die from donkey related accidents than plane crashes – the implications of slander

One of the many evil donkey’s – Frederick, was finding it hard to get work. Frederick, a brown eyed brown donkey used to take up to 58 passengers a day. He charged slightly less than a black cab in the London area and had thought he’d found a nice niche also offering a free sombrero to each of his passengers, when the cost of the ride was over a tenner. He lived in a nice stable, just outside the M25, making it an easy commute to work on the London underground. His stable was kitted out with the usual plasma screen tv, fridge with ice dispenser and about 4 acres of land that he shared with his wife – Elena Donkey – and seventy five donkettes, all called Annabel. All that Elena Donkey and the 75 donkettes knew was the life of luxury that all donkeys at the time were privy to. The donkettes that had graduated Eaton donkey school were enjoying the privilege of being educated at Cambridge, and they all had stable (no pun intended) relationships with their partners, there was even rumour that Annabel the 2nd, was planning a little donkette of her own.

 

 

The donkeys life of luxury was all jeopardised when FHM published a little known fact about the severity of Donkey related incidents – with a particular highlight to the London area. In a matter of weeks the front page of the Sun published a 3 year old boy with fatal wounds from a donkey incidents. This sparked the beginning of a brutal yet understandable public backlash on the donkey community in London and needless to say, Fredirick, Elena and 75 donkettes all named Annabel were facing a decline in their standards of living – credit crunch. The images of plane crashes down, donkey related incidents up. United Airlines in America’s profits were even looking up – the first since a little incident of their own in September, 2001.

 

 

Frederick being the evil donkey that he was, was outraged. Seeing his family going from Riches to Rags in a matter of months was tearing him apart. There was no more grass for dinner, it was Hay – and given that the whole family had hayfever, each meal time was a spluttering, teary mess. Something had to be done, he thought.

 

With what little money Frederick had left, Frederick enlisted the help of a PR agent, Ronald J Tuberculosis. Ron (as he left Frederick call him) was no stranger to getting races / species out of tough situations. He was known in the business as the best – what he did for Manatee’s, Hugh Grant (following the prostitute exposure) and the Germans (post WWII) was still high on everyone’s minds.

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